Johnny Manziel Enrolls At Bellevue High School As Transfer Student

This article was originally posted on Spor Repor on April 26th, 2016. This article is a work of satire.

Former Texas A&M and Cleveland Browns quarterback Johnny Manziel has found a new home for the 2016 football season. Manziel has officially enrolled as a ninth-year senior transfer student at Bellevue High School in Washington and will play for the Wolverines’s powerhouse football program this fall.

Head coach Butch Goncharoff says Manziel’s transfer was a bit tricky at first but in the end was able to work something out in order for him to be eligible this upcoming season. “We had Johnny retroactively cancel his high school diploma then fail a high school GED exam before having him enroll in classes at the illustrious Academy Institute in order to gain eligibility under the WIAA rules and regulations.”

Bellevue High School works in conjunction with the Academy Institute by providing classes outside of the normal high school environment.

Members of the Wolverines Booster Club also assisted Bellevue High School in attracting Manziel to transfer to the school. Booster club members reportedly sent Manziel a case of Rainier Beer along with a letter that contained a map to the Bellevue High School football field with the message “Want More?” to peak his interest.

Manziel will also receive a $5,000,000 academic scholarship, funded by the Wolverines Booster Club, in order to fund his tuition at the Academy Institute along with other expenses required “to ensure his ability to learn and be educated at the Academy Institute without any obstacles.”

Since the news broke about Manziel enrolling at Bellevue High School, many have suggested that the school has committed numerous WIAA rules and violations surrounding the enrollment. However, the Wolverines Booster Club, on behalf of the school, states that no rules have been broken.

“To be clear, we believe that we did not violate any WIAA regulations. Moreover, we are proud of our Bellevue High School football community — and we are proud of our club’s commitment to the many causes we serve, including overprivileged football players. We look forward to working with the Bellevue School District and WIAA toward a fair resolution of this issue,” said the Wolverines Booster Club in a press release. “We believe the individuals making these allegations are indeed shallow and pedantic.”

Manziel is currently slated as the №2 quarterback on the Wolverines depth chart behind senior Dustin Weiss who’ll be motivation to keep his starting job because he totally thinks that he has a shot to score with Becky on the cheer team the night of Homecoming.